Day 2. We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends- M.L.King Jr

so, last night i managed to watch the super bowl around people and maintain my silence. its not that i get emotional about American football, but it is interesting to "bottle" things in. it somehow makes them less important.

once again the most difficult part is my self-consciousness. I feel bad , if not guilty, to be around other people that want to talk/ or talk to me. I feel that i am not available as a friend and that creates some frustration.  it is all of course a personal issue, but i will have to agree with Jennifer Michael Hecht, that being in a city, especially NYC makes it a hundred times more difficult than being secluded in the mountains. I have noticed how my friends' reactions changed based on my behavior. They talk slower, use hand gestures, even remain quiet also. I wonder if they feel oppressed or even if they take notice...

Today i went to Prospect Park. Avoiding human interaction makes it easier. Listening to music also.