Day 10. Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts-M. Lee Runbeck

ten days. Would you believe that I am enjoying this so much that I am already worried that I will miss it? One would say that I could do it whenever I want to, its not that I need special ingredients, but since I am living in a social environment there are several responsibilities that I need to respect. It would be selfish to just withdraw in my silence whenever I feel like it.
I got a text message the other night from a friend that read:
"I'm worried that you won't speak much after this." It is probably true but there is no harm in that. I am on a journey with no specific destination, and I am following Kavafy's Ithaca advice. The unknown is intriguing, something like an ultimate gambling game, its all in.
I no longer feel self-conscious about my interaction with people. There are some uncomfortable moments here and there but nothing too serious. For example, I found out that either my handwriting is terrible or the sushi guy at the deli, the cashier at "San Locos" and my herbman cannot read. Cannot read well at least. I have also realized that thanks to the invention of the spellchecker my spelling has become disastrous.

I have also been re-thinking about the documentary on my VOS. I think that this whole thing is extremely private ( and I often debate with myself if i should be writing this blog publicly). I am learning so much from this, and most of them cannot be described in words. There are feelings and scents and lights and deja-vous of all sorts.

When I was in San Diego in 2005 , my friend Devon and I , came to this "profound" realization that "Sometimes we think its like that but its not like that." The ideas and perception we have about ourselves is quite off the idea that other people have for us. Maybe its because we all have different judging criteria or classification "requirements". Usually facts are more sincere. Where am I going with this? I never considered myself to be/become a person of solitude. I was raised like most Cypriots in a very social and vibrant environment ( big families, often gatherings, vivid social life, constant attention) and the idea of setting disciplines and restrictions sounded far fetched if not impossible. I guess I am not what I think I am. I am much better and at the same time, much worse. I cant judge.

March 2001- July 2001. As a protest I avoided to hold a gun during my mandatory military service
2006-2007 Abstinence.
20 July 2008- today. Spontaneous decision to quit eating meat
1st February-today. Vow of silence