I guess i can greet you as if you are there since I have received Facebook messages about my VOS. In one of them, a friend of mine asked me a whole bunch of questions but one of them really stood out. "Are you learning from it?"
There is no doubt in my head that anything one does and labels as experiment , is useful and productive. Even proving the nonexistence of something is something.
I am learning a lot about human behavior, my behavior and the behavior of the people around me. I find the ways they invent to cope with it interesting and unusual to their common habits.
Their approach and self-consciousness is subconsciously modified by my conscious decision to remain silent( i apologize for the abuse of the word -conscious). Have I gained an unwanted control? Writing more about this, makes me unsure if I could relate it to poetry. I believe that everything is connected to poetry but for the sake of a "secure" classification, this might be called a hybrid of a sociological and psychological experiment.
If nothing else, I have been filling a lot of note pads and maybe i could make little poems out of them. Like a collage kind of thing.
Talking about collages, I was thinking that since the beginning of this silence I have been "recycling" art instead of creating it. I thought about other people that do this, especially monks or people that do this for religious purposes and it struck me. They are seeking something that exists, they are not creating it. It's like stripping all the layers off until the body is naked and pure and beautiful or something like that.
I don't want to bore you but there is one last thing i want to write about today.
I was also asked this: "What's the point of the blog? Is it all about yourself?"
I think most, if not all, artists are selfish, and those who don't admit it, they are selfish liars. Why would anyone feel the need to create art, ( the term art is ever-changing), if they didn't feel the urgency to express things in order to save themselves from "asphyxiation". It is either that, or the uber-narcissistic motive of GIVING TO THE WORLD. I don't know when was the last time the world asked from an artist to give. So, I am not saying I am doing something profound , new or amazing, or i am sharing my wisdom to help others. When I heal myself maybe then i can help others ;)
this is lovely.
ReplyDeletei don't think giving to the world is narcissistic.
ReplyDelete"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson
however, to think that you're the one creating the art is narcissistic.