conflict:the believing heart vs the skeptical mind

I am well. Really well. But here is the but. Silence increases the capability of one to function unhampered by distractions ( emotional, verbal,etc) but we are still humans, and at this early stage of my journey I am still very fragile.  I have centered my attention to somehow extraordinary realities yet this is NYC in 2009 and there is a very loud and strong reality under my feet, inside my ears, in front of my eyes, above my head. In simple words today a weakness of mine was highlighted. I will leave it at that for now. 

I want to talk about other sorts of silence. I asked a friend of mine a question, it was more like a comment and i expected some sort of respond, an acknowledgement that she heard me. She remained silent ( i guess it's contagious) and after that minute of silence, she talked about watching a piece of paper fly 20 stores high up in the sky. Isn't that  a silence? Definitely a lot more common, unjustified yet acceptable by our society! At least I offer some sort of explanation.

I don't know why i still let things like that to affect me. As i said, I am still new and inexperienced in this, but i am hoping to reach higher levels of mystical experience.

Evelyn Underhill, a recognized expert on mysticism comments that "the silence that aids the mystic is an organic life-process". I don't label myself as a mystic or anything, i am just extremely fascinated by this new experience. I wish i could describe this in words but its impossible. 

I am quoting the philosophy of silence on something as a response to my own frustration in being unable to describe this. ( and once again i am not claiming to have reached any levels of this yet, i just had a small taste).

"Those who have been enriched by mystical experience, have often been aware of the vagueness of their reports, but have maintained that blurred edges are unavoidable." 

also

"The mystic maintains that the attempt to translate any significant experience into ideas and language always falsifies and impoverishes it." I was thinking the same thing about poetry. How successful can a poem be, considering that there is an infinite scale for perfection. Even though i doubt that perfection even exists. Perhaps any kind of creation is a step towards that mystical place, and the scent of it, is inspirational enough to aboard and continue on the journey. 

 

goodnight

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